It has become quite clear to me that people lie. And before this turns into an atheist’s confessional I will get this over with and say that I have lied and recently; I lied to my daughter about coming back to her bedroom and laying down with her… she fell asleep and I was off the hook. I will say this: I consider myself a good person who has made a lot of mistakes and has a lot of regrets, I have hurt people but, by all means, I have never done so intentionally. I lie to myself every single day but in the end, the positive things come true and some of the negative ones get refuted. Nevertheless, I have found myself lying and even as recent as a a year or so ago, I told a pretty big lie to someone for reasons that truly do not matter. Now I find myself in a position I have placed myself in for the sake of soul-salvation and because they deserve to know. From this very moment to the actual minute I face him and say it could be a lifetime in dog years (do you know that EVIAN is NAIVE spelled backwards?); It has bothered me that I have gone through labor twice, go to school with two children at home, decided to make a serious commitment with another human being and yet that “actual” minute will not happen anytime soon. While the feelings are mixed and complicated, the fact that I lied is quite simple to understand. Am I sorry? Of course and every day, things could have been oh-so-different and you, the one lied to, have no idea…
“Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don’t know how to replenish it’s source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings.” -Anais Nin
I took this pic early Sunday morning, first piece of sky I saw. Later on that evening, my son became ill… he is slowly doing better now. This shot, simply peaceful… coffee & cigarette!
